My Thanksgiving Disaster

I pride myself on cooking under pressure. The simple fact is I love to entertain and my main focus is for my family and guests to enjoy my food while feeling relaxed and de-stressed. There have been moments when my dear, "I'll try anything once" husband has suggested I consider catering since I love to put together delicious delights...who has the time. BUT...this Thanksgiving went as wrong as wrong could be. I bought a 21 pound turkey which, according to every source I consulted, should cook in about 4 1/2 hours. Since I got up at 6:30 and had the turkey in by 7:00 I was expecting it to be out of the oven around 11:30 to 12:00 just in time to put the sides in the oven. So here was the disaster...

I noticed my turkey thermometer was rising more rapidly than I had hoped. By 10:00 it was signally the minimum done temp. I gave it another boost on the temp. At 10:30 another signal. Crud! I pulled the turkey out and by all signs it was done! How did that happen??? So I had to figure out how to keep a turkey hot and bacteria free for another 2 1/2 hours as we were eating at 1:00. I put the roasting pan on the back burner of my oven which stays hot and kept checking on it...salmonella be damned!

So next, I mixed my dressing and what a beautiful dressing it looked to be. I placed the baking dish on the counter next to the oven for the right time to put it in. And did I mention dressing is my favorite Thanksgiving dish? Yes, sir. I love dressing! Minutes before it was time to put the dressing in the oven I decided to go ahead and carve the turkey. I carefully lifted the heavy beast and started to move it to a sizable counter top when I felt a slight tug and heard *CRASH SPLAT* I had forgotten the thermometer was still in the bird and the cable was behind the pan of dressing. There was my precious, perfect uncooked dressing on the floor in a sloppy heap of bread and shattered glass. I won't mention my favorite, hard to find sized baking dish that is now is Pyrex heaven. At this point I wanted to crumple in a heap and cry. It was too late to even call anyone to bring Stove Top IF they could find an open store.

And, oh yes, there is more. The gravy. By golly if I was going to have a dry, bacteria laden turkey I was going to have excellent gravy to ladle on top. So I took tip from Food Network and put my roasting pan full of delightful drippings across two burners and added some flour and, perhaps, a hail Mary. I stirred and seasoned and took delight in the thickness that ensued. I tasted and holy mother of all that is good and pure...YUCK! Really? Fortunately I had some boxed turkey broth on hand and whipped up a reasonable substitute.

Have I said finally yet? Because if I haven't this is it because I can't take much more. My mother-in-law is diabetic. I wanted to wow her for dessert and whip up a fabulous sugar-free pecan pie. She loves pecan pie. Oh how I mixed and baked and delighted at the sight of it. I even artistically arranged pecans in a delightful pattern on top. She ate it without complaint. Then I tasted it. I still don't know how she finished it. Let's just say the remainder of the pie went into the trash after everyone left and I owe her a pie she can indulge in.

Despite all of this my family gave me a multitude of compliments. One of our nieces even ate pumpkin pie to the surprise of her dad. But, to me, I failed. I hate when anything in the kitchen goes wrong. If I have an off night and Matt and William are not pleased with dinner I either make a mental note never to serve that again or figure out how to fix it. So to blow a holiday dinner was a major defeat.

My blog is about my love of food and the fun I have but, let me tell you my followers, I'm still licking my wounds after this shame of a meal.